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Indeed, I feel most at peace, most enamored with the world and people around me when I am most enamored with God.

In contrast, I feel most anxious when I find myself dipping into my desire for social status.

It means that I view dating as a reflection of God’s relationship with his church, and therefore will seek partners in my life that will further my commitment to God in this order: even if it reduces my dating “pool,” so to speak, to a fraction of what it already is.

And it’s not like I gained some kind of emotional high after rejecting a relationship with a girl who I really thought I would otherwise come to develop strong feelings for. And this love relationship means that, just like the relationships we have with the people we love, entails sacrifice.

Old habits die hard – I still return, sometimes, to the old me, to the me that saw the world as a zero-sum game, that saw fame as man’s only, sick and twisted, motive.

But I’m grateful to God that that mentality no longer defines me, but that my salvation in Christ does.

Oh, God, how you never let go, even when I hated you and wanted nothing to do with you!

might set up a dating website for people who have no interest in the Simpsons because they’re not 6 any more.

In agonizing ritual sacrifice, in painful horror He stared, knowing that no less than Jesus Christ would suffice to pay for the depth of our sinfulness, your sins and my sins.

As the blood dripped from the nails in His hands, He watched Jesus call out “ and let Him die.

How He then lifted me up out of my hatred at the world, assuaged my deep-seated insecurity about my own social status.

How He taught me – often dragging my petulant and self-absorbed body to class – that popularity within this world means nothing. Since then, I believe that following God has restored true joy in my life.

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